How many of you agree that "Going Green" means doing away with traditional burial? After all, a grave does require polluting the land with stuff that was never meant to decompose or be reused (liners, metal coffins, headstones, etc.) Would you be in favor of a deal like, say, free cremation from the Uncle Sam if you donate your organs? I think that's a pretty fair trade. We'd be solving two big problems, (1) the expensive maintenance of cemeteries and the pollution of said land, and (2) the dearth of usable organs, skin and bone that could save lives and advance scientific research.
Unfortunately, the outdated practice of preserving a human body -- which no modern culture has perfected -- is still widely practiced today. Burials can still be held without an intact body, and those who prefer the practice (members of my own religion included) are comforted by the rite in many ways. After all, there's a physical place to pay respects, meditate, plant flowers -- often a monument with important information inscribed. I'd never advocate making any particular choice mandatory for anyone. All those reasons are valid, but this article will neither advocate for them, nor be reverent, so if you're tearing up already, better stop reading now.
I would prefer (for myself) an environment-preserving alternative which will probably become the norm anyway, in one more generation. The universal benefits of more organ donation should be reason enough. People who need new organs would spend less time waiting, and it would remove the worry of people donating kidneys for money or black market exploitation of the poor for healthy organs. I'm in favor of the "presumed consent" position that many other (more progressive) countries take regarding organ donation. If you don't have a clear-cut objection to it noted on your I.D., they presume that you give consent, even without contacting your next of kin.
There are lots of other options, too, for those of you who don't want your organs or other remains buried. Some enterprising individuals who have some artistic ability (and a really cool web site) can combine your ashes (actually pulverized bone fragments) with other substances into a kind of modeling clay, if you will, and mold them into a tchotchke worthy of display on your mantel. This is a wonderfully creative idea, but still presents a number of problems. Children of the deceased might want to do their own individual thing with their fair share of the ashes, or families members might still fight over custody of a single figurine, or it might get accidentally auctioned off with grandma's collection of Lladro, if you're not careful. And let's not forget about the housekeeper. She could knock grandpa off the mantel with one careless pass of the feather duster and toss the pieces out, mixing him for eternity with yesterday's coffee grounds. I like this idea for a Chia Pet, though. Less likely to get lost. Even a metal urn could be mistaken for an ashtray at some point, and could have a chilling effect on the love life of a surviving spouse. Let's not forget, somebody still has to schlep it, too, if they own it.
There's even a company that will, for a nominal fee, launch your ashes into space -- after first compressing them into a synthetic diamond. Cool idea, but what happens when the heavens start raining pieces of all the satellites we've sent into orbit over the past decades? It's bound to happen, given all the space-station scrap metal and lost tools collecting up there. Wouldn't my human-diamond bullet just add to the flotsom or knock some inoffensive meteor off course? Wouldn't I have to launch it from Cape Canaveral to get it safely to the outer limits of our universe? Nah, that's too expensive and too vain of a plan for me. I've got it. Maybe I can get one of my deer-hunting cousins to funnel my ashes into ammo for a 20-gauge and shoot me into a couple of tall trees that can easily withstand the assault. If I'm going to become a permanent part of nature when I pass on, I think I'd like the view from there, and the squirrels would be great company.
On the spiritual side, I'm rather proud of the members of my religion (Judaism) for arguing successfully for reversal of the hallakic ban on organ donation. Hold on, I can sense the puzzled look on your face. What Jews really object to is keeping a body around longer than sundown of the next day after the person, ah, expires. I can understand the reason for the rabbinic sages devising this rule in ancient Judea -- it was just more practical. And, they didn't want the Chosen People to imitate the Egyptians in any way -- especially not in the preservation of human remains. But the basis for hasty burial of an intact body was/is that the Almighty needs all your original parts to (eventually) resurrect you. Now the invisible imp that sits on my shoulder has always argued that my Creator is smart enough to reassemble me from ashes, if necessary. I can't seem to picture Him in a cosmic garage with a tube of glue and tweezers, muttering under His breath as He tries to reassemble me by lamplight. I'm getting ahead of myself, though. The ban on organ donation was reversed because the mitzvah (commandment) of saving a human life trumps the mitzvah of keeping the remains intact. Burying usable organs, a bunch of very smart people figured, was tantamount to burying valuable medical equipment. I agree with that. But neither would I have any peace if I thought I would be shut up, post-organ donation, in what amounts to a fancy Thermos and planted where I can't even fertilize anything. The plain wooden coffins and linen shrouds in which the Conservative and Orthodox of my tribe bury their unembalmed departed are pretty good, as far as non-pollutants go, but I still can't get past the idea of all that wasted land. Nope, I'm afraid donation and cremation is my preference. It's becoming something of a tradition in my family of origin, who have no religious objection to it. I've often told them (only half-jokingly) that I've been so scattered in life that it's only fitting I should be scattered in death. I do like to travel.
Thankfully, I've never had a relative in desperate need of a donated organ, never had a niece or nephew born without a strong heart. And if I had, I would've prayed for someone to sign over the organ that would save or prolong their precious life. If I don't put too much mileage on all my organs before I leave this world -- reuse them, please -- and anything else I leave behind that can make someone else healthier. As for the rest of it -- Bubba, go ahead and take aim for that big oak on the edge of the north forty.
