Have you ever had a "Team Building" event at your office? More often than not, it's a "warm fuzzy" to make the bad executives feel better about spending tons of money on consultants, while continuing to abuse the staffers who are actually doing the real work. Good companies rarely do them. They give raises, instead, and hold company picnics, because they enjoy each others' company outside of the office.
Years ago, when I believed I was working for the most dysfunctional company in the free world, I wrote a little list of analogies based on the characters in Frank L. Baum's classic tale (which was a political analogy in itself).
"THE WIZARD OF ODDZ "
Question: Can you spot any of these characters in the organization where you work? (Feel free to reply, no matter who you are. This is an open forum, so you should protect your identity against the wrath of supervisors who may recognize themselves.)
The Tornado: The tornado upset Dorothy’s peaceful existence, destroyed part of it, and sent her on a difficult path (the yellow brick road) of self-discovery. This path had stumbling blocks and villains that hindered her progress, but it ultimately provided a good education. The tornado is a metaphor for anything that can devastate a company, or simply whittle away at morale. It could be a reorganization, the loss of competent employees or top clients, a stock market crash, mismanagement, or miscommunication. It doesn't have to be big or threatening if what it's trying to destroy is already weak. It can sink the boat if everyone isn’t rowing (or bailing) together.
Auntie Em: A good worker who is just overwhelmed by her responsibilities. Slackers and incompetent managers heap work on her because she’s one capable person surrounded by poor planners and elitists. She's had to stifle her natural creativity, because so much grunt work is given to her. She obeys company policy and all industry rules, but can’t stand up to Miss Gulch. Without a decent salary or benefits, she has no real reason to stay, so she will be the first one to jump ship when an opportunity arises. Her main problem is that Miss Gulch keeps her too busy with weekend assignments to spend time with her kids or look for another job.
Toto: He’s a metaphor for what we all care about – the people or things for which we'd risk or sacrifice anything. It's the only good reason to continue working for a company we can't really believe in.
Uncle Henry: Basically a decent person, he’s in a department that isn’t making any money, and he can’t figure out why. He's worried that the company isn't getting many contracts, even though their bids are sometimes lowest. He senses the company is getting a bad reputation, but stays, mostly by default, because they haven't invested in his professional development. Unable to compete in the current job market, he's still too young to retire.
Miss Gulch: Jealous of anyone with a life outside the office, she’s determined to ruin their off-time. She secretly rejoices at the failures of others, but is not above stealing their ideas. Without much relevant experience in the industry she's in, she has no idea how to help advance the company. Her staff watches her waste tons of money on self-aggrandizing PR, while all their PCs malfunction and need replacing. Vendors on her approved list, despite frequently delivering substandard work. Emergency projects are the norm, because she doesn't plan ahead. After scanning industry publications for buzzwords, she uses them so often that Uncle Henry's field hands created a drinking game based on it. Bicycling home one dark Friday night after Happy Hour, she was run off the road by a car driven by her assistant, who hastily buried her behind the Gales' out-house. Toto now takes his morning dump there. After a decent interval, her property was auctioned off by the county, which eventually funded Dorothy's revamping of the farm.
Dorothy: A True Believer, she recognizes potential in others, expects everyone to be ethical, and trusts people until she’s proven wrong (and sometimes even afterwards). She’ll do her best to diagnose and solve problems, even in unfamiliar territory. She was dropped into Oddz and is doing her best to get her friends' needs met. Maybe there’s nothing in that black bag for her, but she isn’t afraid to challenge the Wizard when he's abusive. She was so glad to get out of Oddz that she didn't even mind facing Miss Gulch again, but she'd already disappeared.
The Scarecrow: He thinks he isn’t smart, but he has a unique insight -- he was able to manipulate the talking trees into throwing a few of their apples when Dorothy got hungry. This was unfairly seen as brown-nosing by his co-workers, but it had the desired effect. He’s loyal to a fault, and will defend others, even at his own peril. His vulnerability is his straw (his trusting nature). His lack of confidence in himself means that he doesn’t get any respect from the crows in his department. He’d been hanging on that nail in the field for years, not aspiring to do anything more, until Dorothy came along and asked directions. He rose to the challenge, dared to invite himself along on her journey, and ended up finding a new career.
The Tin Man: He thinks he has no heart, but he's just dogmatic. Not very flexible, he can get stuck in a rut very easily, but he's willing to learn. He knows he'll rust if doesn't keep his sense of humor handy. His special talent is his ax, which gets him out of most crises, but he knows there are more subtle and effective management methods to be learned. He gets stuck most often when the company won't let him invest in more progressive equipment and training.
The Cowardly Lion: He isn't cowardly, but he's never been given a challenge worthy of his talents. His true nature emerged when he admitted to his shortcomings and asked for help, then began looking for a company he could believe in. He used to believe that strength was shown by being a bully, but now he despises oppression in all its forms. He's ready to work for a company that will value his leadership skills.
Glinda, the Good Witch: The best manager in the company, she is beloved and trusted by the Munchkins. She protects them, gives them confidence, recognizes their strengths, and isn’t threatened by their talents. Knowing they are capable, she doesn’t micro-manage, but gives them good directions and gets out of their way, only reappearing when they need a pep talk. She laughs at the Wicked Witch because she recognizes a true coward in action.
The Munchkins: They get along very well in their individual and team roles, until the Wicked Witch shows up. They are initially wary of strangers, because they've seen more than one Wicked Witch come and go, but they trust Glinda’s judgment, and are very helpful to new hires. They are grateful to Dorothy, who solved their main crisis without even trying.
The Wicked Witch of the West: She’s your worst nightmare, and the most difficult to change, because she’s comfortable with the status quo. Ruling by intimidation, she bullies everyone, and plays upon their deepest fears. She slyly discovers the personal vulnerabilities of her staff, and stores them up like ammunition, but carefully guards her own, trusting no one. She covets the unique power of the ruby slippers and will do anything, or betray anyone, to get them. Once her sister (he Witch of the East) was dead, she saw them as her right. She pretends to blame Dorothy for landing a house on her sister, but the truth is, she saw the house falling and pushed her sister underneath it. She knows she isn’t qualified to be the top witch, having been promoted to the position only by default. The soldiers are so sick of her that they keep a bucket of water in the tower, presumably for the flying monkeys, hoping she'll spill it on herself.
The flying monkeys: They are the drones of the operation. They have no original ideas, no ethics, and can be bought by the highest bidder. They do the Wicked Witch’s bidding only because they couldn’t get jobs anywhere else. They never operate as individuals, and only feel powerful when they can gang up on someone weaker. The Witch got control of them by giving them titles and positions they hadn't earned, but hired others to do the real work. If she hadn't rendered them helpless, they would’ve gone elsewhere and become truly qualified.
Now that the Wicked Witch has been melted, they'll lay around the castle for awhile and collect unemployment until they're evicted by the IRS who's selling the place to cover back taxes. They will be easily persuaded to take out high interest loans and enter a multilevel marketing business, but will quickly go bankrupt.
The soldiers in the Witch’s castle: Better than the flying monkeys, they stay primarily because they recognize a good manager when they see one, and want to see things improve. They weren’t quite brave enough to speak their minds when the Witch was around, but they are terribly grateful to Dorothy for getting rid of her. The good king at the neighboring castle is already trying to recruit them, but they truly have hope for the company now that a competent manager can be hired.
The Water: Honesty and exposure. Dorothy came into the dysfunctional company (Oddz), realized what the problem was, and tossed out some fresh new ideas, which turned out to be beneficial for everyone.
The Wizard: He wasn't really happy with his management style, but didn't know how to be more effective. He used to blame others when a project fell through, but he eventually admitted he had used the wrong tactics. He now knows he can’t force anyone to do his bidding; he can only achieve his aims by earning his staff's respect and loyalty by doing the right thing. This he did by helping develop their potential, not just for the company, but for their own personal betterment. Too bad this only happened when Toto pulled back the curtain, but at least it happened. The Wizard is fascinated by Dorothy's potential, and secretly acknowledges that she's the real rainmaker in the company. If he can get her on his team, he can finally become what he longs to be.
The black bag: It holds the rewards of encouragement, recognition, merit raises and earned promotions. Some people know there isn’t anything in the black bag for them. At a dysfunctional company, they observe others getting credit for their ideas or a select few getting recognized and rewarded. Calling attention to this will only earn a reputation as a trouble-maker, so they won't often rock the boat. These people eventually leave for companies where they will be appreciated.
The Wizard's hot air balloon: This is the company Dorothy thought she wanted to work in. The poor, ineffectual Wizard had no idea how to anticipate the winds of change in his industry, so he couldn't steer it. After (luckily) missing the flight, Dorothy decided that investing in herself was her best chance. She closed her eyes, clicked her heels and ended up getting where she wanted to go, without the balloon.
The Farm: The company where Dorothy landed after the Tornado. Actually, she found it a bit boring after her wild ride to parts unknown, and she longed to set out on a more exciting career path. She didn't stay in Kansas very long, but helped the farm become prosperous again before starting her own consultancy.
The Wicked Truth: Dorothy was so empowered by solving such a big problem in Oddz, that she actually began to seek them out, and became a management consultant. She learned the only way to "steer" the balloon was by raising and lowering it, according to the wind currents. Flying her own balloon back to Oddz, she interviewed with the Wizard, who had landed there safely after only a few minutes aloft. He did have something in that black bag for her, after all. He proposed they go into business together, and is now finding more businesses for her to turn around.
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