This is really more of a rant, but in case anyone really needs to be persuaded not to spend money they don't have on something as useless as a big party -- here goes nothing.
On weddings:
Young people (brides, especially) have come to confuse The Wedding with The Marriage. In fact, you can predict with amazing accuracy how short the marriage will be based on the outlandish spending of The Princess (or her family) on 'her special day'. I am all for a woman having a 'special day' but it's ridiculous to go into debt for something that's overwith in one day, especially when you don't yet have a HOUSE. Thankfully, the groom's family is generally left out of the really expensive stuff. I suppose this is because he is generally assumed to be The Main Provider and he'll have to pay for necessities like Food and Shelter. Whereas this has changed somewhat -- dual incomes are more necessary than ever -- it's still assumed that if one of the pair stays home (at least temporarily) to raise a child, it'll be the mom. Back to Bridezilla. Since weddings have largely become celebrations of The Princess and her beauty, the groom is sometimes relegated to the background, where (my guess is) he is content to be. Unless he's a closet queen, he is unlikely to care what flowers are displayed or whether the chuppah is suitable for framing. He only has to show up in a tux and bring the ring.
I found it hilariously inappropriate when I was told that a friend's future daughter-in-law had presented him a 'bill' for half of what 'her special day' was going to cost. He politely declined, earning her eternal resentment, even though he had given his son a very expensive education, which would, we assume, be used to support The Princess and her future children at some point. Never mind that my friend had gone into debt to give his son this fine education (B.A. and M.A.) so that the son would go into the working world without a monkey of debt on his back. Never mind that paying for his son's advanced education means he will probably not retire as early or as easily. That gift is something that cannot be taken away, and will not be wasted -- something much more important than what amounts to a big party (so the bride can show her friends how valued she is). By the way, from what I've heard, she is a rather nice girl -- just had her perspective warped by being a guest at too many weddings of her pals, and figuring she had to spend at least in the realm of what their families spent on their 'special days'. People talk, y'know. It just wouldn't do to have Muffy wear her mother's wedding dress, carry a modest bouquet and have punch and cake at the church -- instead of renting a hall and paying a band worthy of a Broadway show. But this girl majored in finance, fahcrissakes. She knows what things like houses and cars and babies cost.
If there's one valuable thing that may return with this depressed economy, it's a more realistic way of celebrating marriages. Before the Great Depression, my grandparents were married by a Justice of the Peace, and grandpa bought a tiny gold band (all he could afford) that my grandmother cherished all her life. She never traded in that ring for one with a big diamond. She had the real gem for nearly 50 years, and she was smart enough to know it.
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