Governor Sanford, you're not helping yourself. Do you think it's smart to publicly whine over the loss of your sexy Argentinian "soulmate" when you should be atoning for your sins -- not only to the people you represent, but to your wife?
Firstly, a helluva lot of male and female voters in your state will now write you off as too incompetent (and too unlikeable) to govern them. Secondly, if you had any hope of reconciling with the wife you're "trying to fall back in love with," that comment has officially blown your chance. Any self-respecting wife would feel honor-bound to kick your stupid, condescending ass to the curb after a comment like that.
Political Cad Hall-of-Famers like Elliot Spitzer and Bill Clinton must be privately snickering at your amateurish handling of the press, and the writing team at SNL can go take a nice long vacation, 'cuz you've just them enough material for their entire coming season. Here's my prediction of the first few sketches they'll write about you: Bill Clinton and John McCain, in a show of bipartisan cooperation, drag you out to the woodshed and hang you, POW-style, from a wall and take turns smacking you silly. Or, maybe they'll portray former Senator McGreevey alternately smooching and waterboarding you, with a leather clad Dick Cheney pistol-whipping you both. In any case, the late night TV hosts and their writers will probably pass the hat on your behalf and send you a nice check, Governor, which may come in handy, since it's clear your services won't be needed in South Carolina much longer.
The national media is incredulous, stopping just short of calling you completely clueless, and wondering aloud if you're intentionally committing political suicide. I'm picturing your (supposedly) forsaken Argentinian mistress watching the TV news commentary and shaking her head in wonder, as well. Has she come to her senses, perhaps? Is she now counting herself lucky that you're back in the States and no longer her problem? Is your wife still willing to take you back after yet another of your clumsy public mea culpas -- even though you'd probably soon be sitting at home all day in your jammies, patiently pecking out your memoirs? After a few months of that, I doubt she'd be willing to -- as you so gallantly put it -- "try to fall back in love" with you.
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